Forming bonds from birth here in the United States and in Canada

I have been privy to the birthing experience only recently. This past Thanksgiving Day, I gave birth to my first baby boy, 8 pounds 1 ounce at 9:38 pm. It is the most wonderful experience although in the moments of labor I didn’t think so. My delivery was a scheduled induction (due to my supposedly “advanced maternal age”). Although I’m not going to disclose my age online, I will say I’m not that old. However, my due date was November 28^th and I went in the Tuesday just before and the event of bringing my baby boy into the world began.

Since his birth is so recent, I remember it all quite well. Unfortunately after 50 hours of labor I was not progressing and I had to choose a Cesarean section, and although baby and I were not in any distress the event was turning into a long one on a holiday. My Elias came into the world full-term and healthy by all means, but did not express all of the amniotic fluid from his lungs (which I learned many c-section baby do not) and he had to be whisked away to the NICU. I became quickly saddened that I was not able to have the initial skin-to-skin bonding or even begin to try to nurse him for the first 24 hours of his life. But throughout that Thanksgiving Day weekend, he and I managed to establish a bond; even though I had to travel from c-section ward across the hospital to the NICU, I admittedly breastfeed him every three hours every time.

I choose this event because it was my personal experience and my first. Although, my partner and I planned and planned for Elias’ birthing experience, a c-section and an if-we-have-a NICU baby were options never discussed. But in the end, the hospital we choose was ultimately the most nurturing and understanding ever and helped to mold a seemingly stressful birth into the most beautiful day of my life.

I feel that there is a reason we do not remember birth as an infant, the event seems like it is so stressful to the baby. The birthing process can have wonderful affects on child development if present but just as Berger and Smidt speak about plasticity, if a newborn does not get these right from the beginning he or she is still in the position to establish wonderful bonds and great foundations for love and learning. In my experience, we choose the hospital I delivered at because the baby, in a perfect birthing situation of course, is keep with the mother at all times and almost every nurse is a licensed lactation specialist. I believe the birthing process, child rearing and care giving is a beautiful process and should be seen as such and not viewed as a burden or disability like much of the American corporate world see it as.

I chose Canada as the region to discuss as a comparative model to maternity leave in the United States. Canada has parental leave rights honored for both spouses covering 52 weeks of paid leave and holding your job for your return. Maternity leave is paid for by the Canadian government opposed to the US where the employer pays for one’s maternity leave. Canada honors 55% of your annual pay up to a year or the equivalent of $43K. This scenario promotes bonding for both parents with their baby, and positive, healthy bonds formed early aid in child development. Although, maternity leave in my situation was nice it was not a paid year off with my little guy. Financial stability, lessened stress and the formation of healthy bonds aid in a child developing a healthy sense of self and forming the foundation to a great beginning.